


I Know Those Eyes

by i_took_the_sense_of_humor_in_the_divorce



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Alternate Universe - Theatre, Angst with a Happy Ending, Comfort/Angst, Enemies to Friends, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, First Kiss, Fluff, Getting Together, I lied, I promised I would stop, Light Angst, M/M, Minor Dev/Niall (Simon Snow), Minor Penelope Bunce/Shepard, Mutual Pining, Oblivious Simon Snow, POV Multiple, Pining, Pining Simon Snow, Pining Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Simon Snow is Gay for Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Simon Snow is an Idiot, Simon and Baz are in a theatre production, Slow Burn, Sort of a Songfic, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch Is Gay for Simon Snow, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch Loves Simon Snow, Yearning, i dont know, not really - Freeform, pls just try it it's my first attempt at fanfiction, so much yearning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-12
Updated: 2020-09-18
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:14:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 13,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26418532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_took_the_sense_of_humor_in_the_divorce/pseuds/i_took_the_sense_of_humor_in_the_divorce
Summary: School Theatre Production AUScenes Night is the one school event Baz looks forward to the most.But when Simon signs up for the show as well and is cast as his love interest, will Baz be able to cope?Regardless, the show must go on!!_____________________________I'm terrible at summaries sorry. AU where Watford has a theatre programShenanigans and hilarity ensue.It's my first work I dont know what i'm doing
Relationships: Dev/Niall (Simon Snow), Penelope Bunce/Shepard, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch & Simon Snow, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Comments: 31
Kudos: 99





	1. And so it begins

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: I do not own any of these characters. This is all a fan-produced parody.

**Baz**

Scenes Night is possibly the biggest night of the year for the Watford theatre program, besides the fall play and spring musical.

It’s the one night of the year that I get to show off my full acting range, which is rather impressive if I do say myself. Everyone who signs up for Scenes Night gets to participate in one to two scenes, usually one spoken and one sung.

So, when the time for sign ups roll around, I don’t hesitate to write my name on the list. I know I’ll get great roles, the director, Miss Possibelf, favors me.

Acting and music have always been my favorite activities. They’re an outlet, a way to let out some of my pent-up emotions without going too far.

Not to brag too much, but I’m theatre royalty at Watford. The Mage can’t seem to stand it, which is why he’s always pushing Simon bloody Snow to join the plays and musicals. Not that theatre is actually important to him- he’s never shown up for a single performance. He’s too busy running around pretending like he’s a Robin-Hood-type vigilante.

I suppose I should be grateful that the acting seems to be the one thing Simon won’t listen to the Mage on. It might be the only thing preserving my sanity at this point.

Snow’s everywhere. He trails me like a lost puppy. Desperate to find solid evidence to prove I’m a vampire.

He’ll never get any. I’ve been careful to make it that way. I go straight from the dining hall to the Catacombs after dinner to feed- it helps that I finish eating in half the time that Snow does. At this rate he would have to handcuff himself to me before he’d even notice me slipping in and out of the dining hall- don’t give him any ideas.

It doesn’t help that he accuses me of plotting constantly. Whether it’s to justify rummaging through my personal belongings or a limp excuse to blatantly stalk my every move- it doesn’t matter.

Oh, Simon. If only you knew the truth.

Thank the Cauldron he’s never signed up for Scenes Night.

**Simon**

Baz is plotting.

He’s always plotting, but it’s serious this time. Why else would he be avoiding me so well?

Penny doesn’t agree with me, “Simon maybe he doesn’t want to fight with you.”

“Penny it’s Baz we’re talking about! We’re sworn enemies! There’s no way he doesn’t want to fight me, he ALWAYS wants to fight with me!”

Penny sighed and closed the book she was trying to read, “Simon. When was the last time Baz actually initiated a fight with you?”

“I don’t know. Last year? I mean, who keeps track of this stuff? Baz, probably. I bet he has a notebook that’s dedicated to keeping score and coming up with ways to piss me off. I wonder where he hides it. Maybe if I check under his bed-”

“Simon!” Penny yelled, earning some surprised looks from the first and second years in the hall.

“But Penny he’s-”

She held up a finger, “You’ve reached your limit on Baz-talk for the week. I’m going to the library to study for our Elocutions exam. You can join me, if you’d like, but if you so much as mention Baz I will not talk to you for the rest of the week.”

I should study, but I’m not in the mood. “Thanks Penny but I’ll pass this time.”

She laughed softly and patted my shoulder, “I’m sure you will.”

I didn’t get her joke until later.

I was too preoccupied with seeing what Baz was doing.

He was reading a flier on the wall next to the theatre. What could he possibly be up to? Was this part of his plot? Maybe this was why he’s avoiding me.

He’s still reading over the flier. His hair is falling in his face but he’s not pushing it away. Instead he picked up a pen and scrawled something on the flier in his stupid perfect loopy handwriting. I don’t know why it surprised me to find out his handwriting was _like that._ It’s _Baz_. Everything about him is perfect.

He smiled to himself before walking away from the flier in the opposite direction. That’s weird. Baz never smiles. He smirks and sneers plenty, but _smiling_? Not Baz. He must be plotting something _really_ evil.

I walk over to the flier he was looking at. It wasn’t a flier at all. It was a sign-up sheet for Scenes Night.

I don’t know why I linger over the sign up. Maybe this is a chance to catch Baz in the act (no pun intended). Without thinking I grab the pen and write down me and Penny’s names.

This is perfect! The Mage has always encouraged me to take up acting! It’s also a chance for me to keep an eye on Baz. Penny will be thrilled!

I glance over the list of students signed up. It consists of Baz, Dev, Niall, Agatha, a few students in the years below us, and now Penny and me.

I grin and make my way to the library. I’ll give Penny the good news (carefully leaving out that Baz is involved) and then maybe I’ll even join her in studying!

I should have signed up for Scenes Night years ago.


	2. The Count of Huge Mistakes

**Baz**

You have GOT to be kidding me.

This has to be some kind of mistake.

I’m glaring at the cast list in shock.

The words “Simon Snow and Basilton Grimm-Pitch as Mercédès and Dantès in “I Know Those Eyes/This Man is Dead” from The Count of Monte Cristo” glare right back at me.

I am going to kill Snow.

I storm into Mummer’s house, up the tower steps to the room at the top, and right to the foot of the bed of one soon-to-be-former Simon Snow.

“Snow.” I force as much venom into my voice as possible.

He startles when I say his name, seemingly too surprised to say anything.

I clench my jaw before practically spitting the words at his feet, “Since when did you decide to take up acting? Need a new subject to fail in? Is being the worst Chosen One ever not enough humiliation for you?”

True to his idiotic nature he seemed to remain speechless.

“Huh?”

I rolled my eyes as hard as I could, “Scenes Night, Snow!”

I toss the crumpled cast list at him.

He picks it up, confused, “What’s this?”

I sneer at him, throwing in an eyebrow raise and slightly cocking my head to the side for good measure.

“A cast list, Snow. Never heard of one? What do you mean ‘what is this’?! We’ve been cast as the two love interests from The Count of Monte Cristo!”

“The Count of Monte Cristo?” He tried to raise one eyebrow but ended up raising both in a stupidly adorable way, “Is that a musical about vampires?”

Merlin and Morgana. He should just kill me now instead of torturing me like this. He could run me through with the Sword of Mages and I’d die happy just knowing I was able to avoid this conversation.

“No, you numpty it’s not a musical about vampires. Haven’t you read the book?”

“No.”

His lack of a reaction was starting to scare me. I scowled at him, “No surprise from you, Snow.”

I give him no chance to reply as I spin on my heel and storm out, slamming the door behind me with a flourish.

I somehow managed to make it to the Catacombs before breaking down.

I always knew Simon Snow would be the one to kill me, but I doubted he’d be the death of me like this.

**Simon**

I was too wrapped up in Baz not avoiding me anymore to care too much about the Scenes Night situation or what he was saying, at first.

Penny, as it turns out, wasn’t exactly thrilled that I signed her up without asking. She eventually got over it, saying something about how it was good that I was branching out and “getting involved in activities that don’t revolve around Baz”.

She wasn’t happy when she read the cast list and found out this would “most definitely be an activity that revolved around Baz”. She liked her own roles just fine, her and Agatha were a duo for both of their scenes. Penny was the comic relief, which she’s good at. Her delivery is spot on, and the faces she has to make while reciting her lines always make me laugh.

Agatha seems upset that she’s paired with Penny instead of Baz. Even though we aren’t dating anymore that still stung a bit- the thought of Baz and her.

Luckily, I only have one scene. _Unluckily_ , it’s a scene with Baz. _Extra unluckily_ , we have to kiss at the end of it.

I haven’t seen or heard from the Mage since the year started, it’s nearing Christmas break, and usually he would have summoned me a few times to discuss the Humdrum or the Old Families, but he hasn’t.

I should have realized this was a terrible idea. Of course, it’s probably Baz’s fault somehow. I bet he put me under a vampire thrall to trick me into signing up in the first place.

Baz doesn’t seem too thrilled about the results either. Seems like his thrall might have worked against him. He’s now throwing insults at me whenever he gets a chance. Which oddly enough is better than him ignoring me. It’s probably because I want to watch him- so I can see if he’s plotting.

I didn’t really think much about having to go to rehearsals every night. Or having to perform in front of an audience. 

It only occurs to me that this is real as I stand on stage with Baz for the first time to run through our scene.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops- I meant to make this chapter longer than the last one- but this felt like the right place to end it. I'll try to update soon! 
> 
> Thanks for reading and I hope you're enjoying it!


	3. Baz is a dramatic bitch and Simon is gay

**Baz**

Simon has never heard the song before. I take a deep breath disguised as a sigh to calm my nerves.

Here I am, standing on stage with Simon bloody Snow, the boy I’ve been in love with for years, the boy who hates me, and we’re about to sing a song about _yearning_.

I’ve known this song for years. I can’t say I’m much of a fan of the rest of the musical, but this song in particular speaks to me.

I concentrate on preserving my composure.

I could have dropped out. I should have dropped out. I didn’t.

I let my masochistic side take over and now I’m here. In an auditorium, with Snow. Who, by the way, I’m going to have to kiss.

Not yet, thank the cauldron, not yet. Not until Scenes Night.

It’s not that I don’t want to kiss him, obviously that isn’t the case. I’ve never wanted to kiss anyone _but_ him. But I can’t.

I always fantasized how it all ends. We’d fight and I’d pretend to try to keep up, but when the opportunity comes he’d run me through with the Sword of Mages, and I’d let him. And as I bled out and my lights dimmed I would whisper “I love you, Simon Snow”, so that only he could hear, steal a kiss, and then let go.

This has completely derailed that fantasy. _He_ has completely derailed it.

I hate him.

Not really.

But a little bit of that is true.

Is it too late to abandon ship? If I disappeared for a few weeks and reappeared mysteriously after Scenes Night came and went would anyone notice? Probably. Snow would never let me hear the end of it if I did.

I glance up from my sheet music to find Snow staring at me like a wide-eyed idiot. I sneer at him and he turns red before huffing and looking away.

What is he playing at? He’s not acting right. I keep catching him staring at me. That alone is not particularly abnormal, but he isn’t up to his usual stalking or incessant accusations of me plotting.

I haven’t plotted against him since fifth year. I just gave up. Pretending to hate him is fine, comfortable even. It keeps a barrier of animosity and insults between us, stops me from doing something I’ll regret.

Although, apparently not even pretending to hate him will stop me from doing things I’m going to regret.

Like showing up to rehearsal. I regret that already.

Not stopping the looming threat that is a stage kiss with the boy of my dreams. I’m going to regret that, for sure.

I wish this could be easy. That I could just accept a stage kiss as meaningless and move on. But it isn’t meaningless to me. It’s a tease of what I’ll never have, and I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to pull myself away.

**Simon**

I had no idea it was this kind of song. I figured it would be a sappy love song- that Baz and I would have to pretend to be all over each other. Instead Miss Possibelf wants us to stand on opposite sides of the stage- slowly circling and eventually coming to meet in the middle.

The song isn’t awful. Baz is a frustratingly good singer. His voice is deep- it reminds me of thunder- it even matches his grey eyes in a way. _Of course_ his perfect voice would match his perfect eyes- it’s _Baz_.

Thankfully we’re just practicing vocals today. I’m not sure I can handle having to look in his eyes while he sings. Wait, what? That’s not right- I can’t be thinking nice things about Baz’s voice and eyes. He’s evil! This must be another vampire thrall. That’s explains why I feel so drawn to him and his stupid voice. I won’t give in to the thrall, though. I bet this is what he was plotting all along.

The worst part by far is that I have to kiss him. Yeah, it’s just a stage kiss, but it’s _Baz_. I have to kiss _Baz_.

Sure Baz is fit, he’s the fittest bloke in school. But he’s _Baz_. He hates me. And he’s a vampire. And I have to kiss him. In front of an audience, too.

I never should have signed up for Scenes Night.

It’s not that I don’t like rehearsals. I do enjoy them somewhat. It’s nice to get to spend time with Penny and Agatha. The three of us spend rehearsals chatting and studying between scenes. It’s nice to have something to do with friends.

It’s Baz that ruins rehearsals for me.

Every time I see his stupid perfect face I feel a pit in my stomach and my hands get shaky. Are these symptoms of a vampire thrall? I’ll have to look into it later.

We all eat dinner as a cast during rehearsals. We go down to the dining hall and bring food back to the auditorium so we can sit in a circle on the stage while eating and chatting.

At least everyone else seems to be getting along. Even Baz’s “minions” Dev and Niall are pleasant for once. Dev is funny. I never thought he would be, he doesn’t seem like the type, but he’s downright hilarious. Niall is more serious, but you can tell he’s a compassionate guy underneath all that. He helped a fourth year to the infirmary when they hit their head on a set piece a bit hard and got a concussion.

I don’t get it. I thought Dev and Niall would be like Baz, downright wankers. They are, a little bit, but they’re secretly more than that.

Too bad Baz is so awful, we might even have been friends if not for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wooooow I rewrote this chapter a lot. I know the plot is going a little slow but the next chapter is A LOT of plot progression so please dont be mad at me!
> 
> I'll try to publish the next chapter tonight, but no promises ;) I'm a perfectionist 
> 
> Thanks so much for reading and I hope you enjoy it! <3


	4. What's better than one disaster bi? A disaster bi and his gay disaster boyfriend

**Simon**

It’s been two weeks of rehearsals. Today is the last day before everyone goes home for Christmas. Well, almost everyone. I’m staying at Watford. Agatha and I decided it would be too awkward for me to spend Christmas with the Wellbeloves.

Today we’re rehearsing the choreography. Miss Possibelf has decided that since it’s the closing number, we’ll have other cast members acting as the guests to the ball while the song takes place. Baz and I are paired with each other-since we have our own choreography, Dev is paired with Agatha, Niall is paired with a girl from the year below us, and Penny is paired with a fourth year.

Baz and I start the number on opposite sides of the stage, both of us walking around the perimeter in a circle, slowly getting closer to the center where we meet. The other dancers waltz in a ring before spreading out once Baz and I enter the center circle.

Learning the music and learning the choreography are very different. I can’t seem to get the dance right. Baz has no problem, he’s as graceful and poised as ever. I, on the other hand, can’t seem to stop stepping on people’s feet. Whether it’s Baz’s feet, the feet of whatever unlucky dancer that happens to pass by me, or even my own feet.

I’m starting to get frustrated after being the reason we have to keep rerunning the scene over and over again. My magic starts to leak and the auditorium smells like smoke.

That’s when I really messed up. I finally managed to time my entrance into the ring of dancers correctly, when I tripped on my own feet and went flying across the stage, effectively taking Baz down with me.

**Baz**

Simon Snow is a beautiful walking disaster. Except he even manages to be a disaster at _walking_. I would toss an insult his way, if only to keep some semblance of normalcy, but his magic is leaking, and I don’t exactly feel like seeing him blow the roof off the theatre today.

One thing I know I’m moving towards him, trying desperately to block out my feelings (and failing), the next thing I know I’m being knocked backwards off my feet by a gorgeous mess of golden curls.

I groan but when I inhale the smell of smoke is absolutely overwhelming. It’s filling my lungs, my passageways are coated in the smell of Simon’s leaking magic. I sit up and realize he is in my lap.

The better part of Simon Snow is sprawled on top of me. He sits up and he’s red in the face- though not in the same way I am.

He’s about to go off. My last ounce of self-preservation (or maybe my masochistic tendencies) takes control of my body as I try to calm him down.

**Simon**

I’m about to go off. I can’t help it. I this was a mistake. I should never have signed up for Scenes Night. I should never have shown up to rehearsal. I should never have done any of this.

My panic starts to grow as I realize I’m sprawled on top of a very flustered Basilton Pitch.

I jerk my head back and scramble to get up but I feel my magic threatening to spill over the edge.

I’m trying to breathe but the smell of my own magic makes it difficult.

I’m going to go off.

I’m going to hurt everyone here. Or worse.

I can’t stand the thought of hurting them.

Penny, Agatha, even Baz. _Especially_ Baz.

And he was right- I’m the worst Chosen One ever.

I feel the brim of my magic fill- and I clench my eyes shut- waiting for it to spill over.

But it doesn’t. I’m able to breathe a bit. I take a deep breath. It smells nice. Like cedar and bergamot. Like Baz. I smile. I exhale. A strangled noise escapes my throat and I feel hot tears fall off my face. I open my eyes to find myself crying into Baz’s shoulder.

WHAT?! I start to panic and pull away but he’s holding me tightly and I register that he’s whispering to me.

“Shhhh… Simon it’s okay. You’re safe. Just match my breathing, okay?”

I shudder and sob into his shoulder, probably ruining his shirt with my tears and inevitable snot, but I can’t find it in myself to care. I pull my hands from my face and wrap them around his waist, burying my face into his shoulder. He tenses up at the increased contact but he relaxes when I stop moving. He doesn’t stop whispering through my sobs.

“You’re doing great Simon… shhhh…. It’s okay… you’re safe.”

It helps. I can breathe better now. The sobs are less uncontrollable.

I’m safe. Here. With Baz.

And then it hits me.

I like this.

Being here. With Baz. Together.

He’s holding me up a bit with one arm, his thumb rubbing circles on my back. His other hand is in my hair.

I like this.

More than I should.

I like _him_.

Baz. A boy. I like a boy. I _like_ like a boy. I _like_ Baz.

Does that make me gay? Am I gay?

Maybe I’m bi or something.

I’ll ask Penny later. No, wait I can’t ask Penny!

Bloody hell, now I’ve remembered that everyone else is still here! Everyone can see me crying and clinging to Baz!

Now I’m crying even harder. Not because everyone can see me clinging to Baz, but because everyone can see that Baz is stuck with me clinging to him. Does that make sense? Does any of this make sense?

Some Chosen One I am.

Merlin I am screwed.

**Baz**

I act fast under pressure.

I saw Simon try to get up and pull himself off me, only to collapse on top of me. He seemed to have blocked everything around him out. He was very close to going off.

I yelled to the others and told them to get out of here. Bunce screamed for Simon, but hearing her scream seemed to stress him out more. Luckily Niall read my face well and him and Dev dragged Penny outside with the others.

And we were alone.

I was worried. I couldn’t let it on to Simon that I was anything but calm though.

So I did the only thing I could think of.

I held him. I whispered to him.

He wasn’t really breathing anymore.

I started rubbing circles on his back. It didn’t do anything.

I ran my fingers through his hair and didn’t stop until he started to breathe again.

And then it was like a dam broke. He started sobbing, howling, into my shoulder, pulling me tighter.

He’ll be okay.

Merlin knows I won’t be.

He could hear again. I was sure of it. I didn’t stop whispering calming things to him.

The words started to catch in my throat, and I had to swallow down a million “ _I love you’s_ ”. None of this was real. He would come to in a moment and shove me away with a look of disgust on his face and horror in his eyes when he realized how close he had just been to a Creature of Darkness, a monster, a vampire, his enemy.

I didn’t realize I was crying until Simon pulled back and I rushed to dry my own tears, to try and salvage the last tattered pieces of my dignity.

He sniffled and hiccupped a bit, and he wouldn’t look at me, but he didn’t run. He wiped his face on his sleeve and tried to speak.

Merlin and Morgana, I’m so far gone for this boy.

**Simon**

I wanted to find the right words, to tell Baz what I felt but then the weight of reality crushed me.

Baz hates me. He pushed me down the stairs, he insults me every chance he gets, he’s only here because I fell on top of him and knocked him over before having a meltdown.

Merlin, if Baz hated me before he must surely despise me now.

Before I could decide what to do, Baz spoke up.

“Feeling better now, Snow?”

It wasn’t harsh and biting, for once. There was no venom in his words. It was hardly spoken affectionately, but it lacked the usual cruel tone.

I nodded because I didn’t trust my voice. I couldn’t look at his face either, so I just stared at the ground.

“I’m going back to Mummer’s House to clean up, I suggest you do the same.” He said coolly.

I mumbled an agreement and stood up, expecting to find everyone staring at me, but no one was there. In a moment of panic, I gasped for air.

Baz stepped closer to me and said in a low tone, “Relax, Snow. They’ve just gone outside to give you some space.”

“Oh,” I croaked, nodding my head. I walked over to my seat and picked up my coat. It was dark outside, and everyone’s coats and books were gone from their original spots, so I assume they grabbed them on their way out.

Baz started up the center isle towards the exit to the auditorium. I jolted awake and called out to him, “Baz! Wait don’t go yet!” He stopped and turned, an eyebrow raised. I gulped.

“I just… don’t want to walk to Mummer’s alone.” He was too far away for me to see the grey of his eyes, but I finally met his eye contact.

“And…” I took a shaky breath and continued, “Thank you.”

He paused and then raised his eyebrow.

“Don’t mention it, Snow. I take it Wellbelove finally started to drill some manners into your head?”

**Baz**

He stopped walking a few feet before the door. He went a bit wide-eyed before mumbling, “What? I- no- she- you- we aren’t- I don’t-”

I slipped more venom into my sentences, easing us back onto familiar ground.

“Use your _words_ , Snow.”

He looked away and said dejectedly, “Agatha and I broke up.”

This day could not become more a rollercoaster of emotions. I’m too gay for this. However, the golden couple never splits for long.

“Don’t worry Snow,” I spat, adding more bitterness than necessary, “You’ll get back together soon. You can still have your happily ever after.”

“What? No. We’ve called it quits for good.”

I held open the door of the theatre building. It was snowing outside. Somewhat ironic.

Simon paused outside the doors. He threw his head back to gaze up at the rapidly falling snowflakes. He looked beautiful, backlit by the lights of the auditorium, staring up at the sky.

It was lovely.

He was lovely.

But I can’t let myself go this far. I can’t pretend that I have this- that I have _him_. He’s the sun, and I’m crashing into him. And I almost allow myself to burn. But I pull myself away, I backpedal.

I shove my hands into my coat pockets.

“So,” I start. No turning back. I can’t keep this delusion going, no matter how lovely it may be. I swallow my heart as he turns to me, a smile on his face that reaches his eyes. I pause and force myself to continue.

“I take it Wellbelove’s available, then?”

His face falls and for a moment he looks like he just got his heart broken. But then he frowns and meets my eyes.

“Yeah, Baz. Go right ahead.” He snarled at me.

The animosity was back. We were back where we had started. The stable familiarity of his hatred returned, not that it was much of a comfort.

Without skipping a beat, I shoved past him and headed towards the Catacombs, calling back to him, “Lovely to know, oh Chosen One. You may be the Mage’s favorite but we both know who’s Wellbelove’s.” I turned to add a bit of salt to the wound, “Oh and Happy Christmas, Snow.”

I slip down to the Catacombs to drain a few rats, hoping it might help ease my angst.

It does not.

I feel positively ill.

**Simon**

I barely make it back to Mummer’s before the world slips from under my feet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SOOOOO I managed to update twice in one day lol but don't get used to it
> 
> I know i really put all the plot progression in just this one chapter, haha sorry about that but the plot evens out from here so hopefully that won't happen again
> 
> Thank you all so much for reading and I'll try to update soon!!  
> I hope you enjoyed it!! <3


	5. The One Where Everyone Knows It's Mutual Except Simon and Baz

**Simon**

I had forgotten it was Christmas Holiday. I awoke to find Baz asleep in his bed, like normal. Except no, it wasn’t like normal. I’m in love with him. That’s new.

Well, probably not new. How long had it been since I’d fallen in love with him? Was it since yesterday? A year ago? Forever? I don’t know. He hates me. He made that very clear last night.

I bet him and Agatha will get together, bonding over how much they don’t like me. Baz will take satisfaction in knowing he stole the person I loved from me, not knowing it was him the whole time.

But for now? He’s asleep.

He’s beautiful when he’s awake, sure. But he’s stunning when he’s asleep. Shit that’s not very straight. I should figure that part out soon.

Reluctantly I get dressed and take one more look at Baz, knowing he’ll be off to Pitch Manor for two weeks before I see him again. I want to kiss him, but I can’t. I go find Penny instead.

**Penny**

I think Simon finally figured out his feelings for Baz. Took him long enough. He didn’t mention Baz once at breakfast or while saying goodbye.

I know he’s purposefully keeping this from me, so technically it violates our No Secrets pact, but I think I’ll let it slide because he doesn’t know Niall and I saw him crying into Baz’s shoulder last night. I have a feeling he also doesn’t know Baz was crying too, otherwise I doubt he’d be feeling so heartbroken right now.

Poor Simon. I hope he figures it out soon.

**Niall**

_“Pitch rhymes with bitch for a reason”_ I remind myself as Baz mopes.

He’s got it so bad for Snow. He never even told me and Dev outright, we just figured it out. Now he’s even managed to carry his funk into Christmas.

Dev and I had to basically pry him out of an armchair and force him to go to bed early during his father’s Christmas party because he’d drank himself into a puddle of emotions. He’s been this way for the entirety of holiday.

What a drama queen.

Not that Dev is much less of a drama queen. Runs in the family, I guess.

Dev is different though. He’s not one to avoid his problems.

If that’s what I’m considered now.

Dev doesn’t know that I know he has feelings for me. I’m not going to tell him unless he makes the first move, but it’s mutual. I’m at least waiting until Baz and Snow get together. I can’t put Baz in a position that causes him to shut us out more, he’s isolated himself enough as-is.

Baz would never admit it, but he makes things with Snow harder than they have to be. From what he revealed of his last encounter with Snow, he acted like a bloody numpty. Asking if his ex-girlfriend is available is not a great approach to winning Snow’s heart.

I know Baz considers the weight of his feelings quite a bit. He knows his choice in men is far from ideal, in more ways than one. First of all, Snow’s the Mage’s Heir. The political implications of their relationship would be received harshly on all sides. Second of all, Snow is "probably straight" (although I doubt that a bit). There isn’t really anything that Baz could do about that. Even without mentioning the vampirism and the bit about Snow hating Baz, the odds of them getting together seem unlikely at best. Add Baz’s chronic snark and emotional masochistic-ness, and you’ve reached a statistic that’s near bloody impossible.

It sounds like I don’t believe it will ever happen. I didn’t.

That is, until Penelope Bunce and I walked in on Snow sobbing into the shoulder of a crying Basil Pitch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! I know this was a short one (please dont be mad haha) but my computer broke this morning so I didn't have a ton of time to write. I miiiiight upload another chapter tonight (again) but no promises ;)
> 
> Thanks for all the support and I hope you enjoyed reading it!!
> 
> Until next time!! <3


	6. The One Where It Becomes a Song Fic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The song this was inspired by (I Know Those Eyes/This Man is Dead) is finally included as part of the fic!!
> 
> I do not own the rights to the song nor the characters, this is simply a fan-made parody

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okaaaayy here's another update :))) The song this fic is inspired by is included in this chapter, so I recommend you listen to it so you can get the ~vibe~
> 
> It's called "I Know Those Eyes/This Man is Dead" from the musical "The Count of Monte Cristo".
> 
> Thank you all so much for your support and I hope you enjoy this chapter!! <3

**Simon**

Christmas Holiday at Watford is nothing but a blur of repeated days and nights marked only by the meals given to me by Cook Pritchard. I have nothing to do. No one to talk to.

I don’t know when holiday is supposed to end, not that it really matters. I spend my time either in Mummer’s house, practicing for Scenes Night, or walking circles around the courtyard, aimlessly swinging The Sword of Mages at nothing in particular.

I miss Baz. Even when he’s throwing insults at me it’s better than when he’s gone. But it’s only a reminder that I’m inevitably going to lose him once we graduate Watford anyways.

Scene Night might be my last chance.

“ _Last chance for what?_ ” I ask myself as I climb the stairs to the top of Mummer’s House.

I don’t know. To show him that I can do something right, maybe. To show him something good about myself. Maybe to just try one more time to earn a glance of something less than hatred from him.

Maybe I am kind of gay. Or bi. Maybe I’m bi. I definitely like Baz, and Baz is a bloke so that must mean something.

Then it occurs to me that Baz is straight. He’s even going after Agatha, of all girls.

Merlin I’m screwed.

I flop uselessly onto my bed. I should practice for Scenes Night. I flip open my sheet music before groaning and realizing we go off-script after holiday. I shove the script under my pillow and start the tape recording Miss Possibelf gave me and Baz to practice with.

I take a deep breath and I start to sing.

_“My God, my heart beats faster!  
And my mind is racing  
Could it be...?  
Could it be that you've come back to life?”_

I poured my heart into it this time. I let all of my frustration and confusion bleed into the lyrics, blurring the line between reality and fiction. I think about Baz and let my breathlessness show in my voice.

_“I know those eyes, following me  
Dark and familiar, and deep as the sea  
I know that face, strange though it seems  
Younger and kinder, it haunts all my dreams”_

I think about Baz’s eyes. I think about how he’ll never gaze at me fondly, or dazed. I’ll never see his eyes go from glaring to soft, not unless he’s being forced to act like he’s in love with me.

  
_“How can you stand there, a whisper from me?  
Yet somehow, be so far away?  
In eyes once familiar, a stranger I see  
With so many words left to say.”_

I glace at Baz’s empty bed, still neatly made from the morning he left on holiday. I let my final solo lines ring as I reach to turn off the tape recording.

I nearly jump out of my bloody skin as Baz’s part echos behind me,

  
_“This man is dead, he is no more  
He died a little each day  
Like a thief, the Château d'If has stolen him away”_

I whirled around to see Baz leaned casually in the doorway.

  
_“The mind plays tricks  
You are confused  
The man you seek is long gone  
Dead and cold  
A story told, by those he trusted,  
Those he loved, and those who then...  
Moved on”_

I want to rush to him, to crush myself against him and never let go. Instead, I sit back down on my bed and wait for my cue.

_“I am a ghost, just a mirage”,_ Baz sings and I answer, _“There in that voice...”_

_“Who chases traces of you”_

_“Traces of you... Dark and familiar, and deep as the sea”_

_“This man is dead, he is no more, and though it's torturing me”_

_“I know those eyes... torturing me”_

As we reach the end of the song we sing in unison,

_“Can either of us really ever be free?  
How can you stand there a whisper from me...?  
When you are still so far away?  
And why does the truth seem too hard to be true?”_

_  
“With so much broken...”_

Baz’s voice seemed to catch in his throat. He really is an amazing actor.

  
_“And so much damage”_

I sing my last line in unison with him.  
  


_“There are no words”_   
  


His voice stays strong but softens on the last few words,

_“Left to say...”_

**Baz**

I came back to Watford a day early.

Daphne was the one who proposed the idea. I think she really only wanted me to come back because she thought it might put an end to my moping. She wasn’t exactly wrong.

Of all the things I expected Simon to be doing upon my arrival, I’ll admit, rehearsing for Scenes Night hadn’t been one of them. He was surprisingly convincing. Merlin, for someone who had never acted before, he was fantastic. I watched him silently, careful not to let him know I was there.

I thought I’d make a snide comment, or throw a flimsy insult his way when he finished, but instead I joined in. I don’t know why I did that. It shocked me almost as much as it shocked Snow.

As the last words left my lips, I realized how many boundaries we’d crossed. Calming him down when he was about to go off was one thing, holding him in my arms as he cried was another. Now I’ve blurred the divide even further. I can’t let that happen. For my own sanity I need to have a clear, labeled set of boundaries with Simon.

Before he could say anything, I rushed out the door and back down the stairs of Mummer’s House. When I got to bottom of the stairs I hit the ground running. I needed to get out of my head. I needed to get _Simon_ out of my head.

Crowley, I’ve even started to call him Simon in my head. That has to stop. We’re enemies. He’s still going to kill me, the least I can do to ease the blow is force myself to pretend I hate him.

I try to forget what just happened. How he looked at me. How I let myself look at him, letting the carefully constructed walls around me crumble.

It’s not acting, for me. But no one has to know that. Simon doesn’t have to know that.

“ _Snow_ ”, I correct myself.

Snow doesn’t have to know that.

**Simon**

Thank god Baz has never seen me act.

I am a terrible actor. But it’s not so hard with this, because I’m not pretending.

Sure, the singing isn’t real, obviously I wouldn’t be singing to Baz if I ever got an opportunity to show him how I feel. But the emotions in my words are.

And now he’s gone off somewhere, probably hiding in the Catacombs and wishing he’d never met me.

**Baz**

I’m hiding in the catacombs, wishing I’d never met Simon Snow, when I hear his footsteps shattering the silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOoOoOoO!! I've been waiting to get up to this chapter for like a whole week! I'm pretty happy with how it turned out, but man I'm exhausted. I'll try my best to keep uploading regularly, but once again- no promises!
> 
> Thank you all so so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed it!! 
> 
> Love you all you're all amazing and I'm so excited that you seem to be enjoying this as much as I am!!! 
> 
> Until next time!! <3 <3 <3


	7. Progress in the Catacombs

**Baz**

I don’t even need heightened senses to hear him coming, he’s incredibly graceless.

It doesn’t surprise me that he’s back to his old stalking habits. It was inevitable that they would return.

I straighten my posture and mentally prepare myself to verbally destroy him, per usual.

But he doesn’t look angry or suspicious. He just looks… sad.

“Baz...” He seems nervous, which makes me nervous.

“Snow. Has Bunce not taught you that when someone goes out of their way to get away from you that you shouldn’t pursue them?”

“I- sorry. I’m sorry. I’ll go.”

That caught me off guard.

“Oh. Well… good.” I hear myself say, suave and cool as ever. I internally facepalm.

“Just- I- well I was thinking and- don’t you- I mean-” He’s stammering and I swear I can see him blush even in the dark.

“Use your _words_ , Snow.”

“Can we have a truce?”

I pause a bit too long, which I mentally kick myself for, before finally answering.

“Absolutely not.”

Simon crosses his arms in front of his chest and huffs.

“Aren’t you tired of this?” He won’t drop the subject, and he’s ever so conveniently blocking the only exit.

“Tired of what, Snow?” I say, sounding inconveniently tired.

“Fighting.”

I don’t say anything. I can’t even think of anything to say. For once, I am the speechless idiot between Simon and I.

“Baz… I- I know we aren’t friends…”

I shake myself off and regain composure, “Astute observation.”

“Merlin, Baz. I know we’re always at each other’s throats but- bloody hell, Baz- I don’t know, maybe we don’t have to be? I want to call a truce.”

I’m quiet again for a few seconds before snapping, “Snow I took you for an idiot already, but I truly had no idea you were this dense.”

He screwed up his face and hissed, “Fuck off, Baz”

“Gladly.”

I push past him but he turns and grabs my arm.

“Baz.”

“What do you think you’re doing, Snow?”

“Baz!”

“Get off of me.”

“No.”

“No?”

“Not until you let me finish what I started.”

At those words I panic. He’s finally going to kill me. I always knew he would but I thought I’d see it coming at least a bit more than this. I don’t particularly feel like dying at the moment.

He must have noticed my reaction because he gripped my wrist tighter and clarified, “Not like that! Crowley, Baz, why do you always have to take things the absolute wrong way?”

“Then what could you possibly have meant, Snow?” I’m not really asking, but he doesn’t seem to get that.

“I want us to stop fighting.”

“What?”

“I don’t want to fight you, Baz.”

I sneer and try again to yank my wrist out of his grasp, but despite having just drained quite a few rats, this conversation has left me feeling pretty weak and Simon isn’t letting go.

**Simon**

Baz looks like he might throw up.

“Have you lost your mind, Snow?”

“I’m not going to fight you anymore, Baz.” I hold eye contact with him for as long as I can stand it, “Truce?” I ask again, hopeful he’ll change his mind.

“I’m not your _friend_ , Snow.” Baz whispers.

I remember how he held me and comforted me when I was about to go off. That’s not something you do for someone if you really hate them all that much.

“But you could be.” I whisper softly in return.

Baz snaps his head up, not making eye contact but he’s looking at me again so it’s _something_.

“And then what, Snow? Are you going to tell the Mage that you won’t fight me? That we’re _friends_ now? Do you really expect me to believe that you won’t kill me without hesitation when the time comes?”

“Kill _you_?! Baz you were the one who wants to kill _me_!”

He looks at the ground _again_.

“Don’t act like that isn’t how it’s always been, Snow. We’re supposed to fight. A final battle. I’m not delusional, I know there’s only one possible outcome.”

I realize I’m still holding him by the wrist, but he’s not pulling away anymore. I can’t believe he thinks that. I could never hurt him.

Okay, I’ll admit, my record isn’t great.

I look into his eyes. I know those eyes; I dream about them.

“I’m not going to kill you, Baz.”

He’s not looking well.

“I could never.”

I don’t think he believes me.

**Baz**

I wish I could believe him.

But I can’t.

He hates me.

...At least that’s what I thought.

Looking at him now though, gripping my wrist and asking for a truce, I’m not so sure. He lets go of my wrist and his shoulders drop.

“I wish there was something I could do to prove it to you.” He murmurs softly.

And then, in one clean move he reaches up and rips his cross clean off, throwing it to the side where it hits the floor of the catacombs, snapping me out of whatever trance I was in.

“Do you realize how utterly idiotic that was?” I sneer at him, “You just removed the thing you thought could protect you, in front of your enemy, who you _think is a vampire_.”

He pouts and crosses his arms in front of his chest.

“I don’t _thin_ k you’re a vampire, I _know_ you are, and I’m not afraid of you. You aren’t my enemy Baz.”

I raise my eyebrow, “ _Why_?”

“Because I trust you and I know you aren’t going to hurt me.”

He stuck out his hand like he was expecting a handshake.

“Friends?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Truce, then.”

Simon Snow, the only boy I’ve ever wanted- the boy I’ve been in love with for three years is asking for a truce. I want to say yes to him, I’d give him anything he asked for, but I don’t know if I can.

If we start playing nice, I lose my carefully crafted barrier of mock-hatred. It wouldn’t just blur the lines between us, it would erase them entirely.

But because I’m soft for him, and not strong enough to keep pushing away what little he’s offering me; I don’t say anything at all.

“Come on Baz, please? At least until the end of Scenes Night? You can go back to plotting my demise afterwards if it’s what you want, but can we please just try to get along for a little while?”

He looks sincere.

Could I do this? Could I let myself get close to Simon Snow without burning? Could we maybe be friends? He asks me the same questions and I push him away.

But _he_ was the one who asked.

“ _Say yes_!” A small part of me is screaming.

I’m hopeless. But maybe, just maybe, we aren’t so hopeless after all.

I sigh deeply but grab his hand, “Truce, Snow. Just until the end of Scenes Night.”

“Call me Simon.”

“Never in your wildest dreams, Snow.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I'd just like to say that you're all so sweet and your comments have made my week!! :)))) You're all so amazing and I couldn't have asked for better feedback!!
> 
> Sorry again for the slow plot progression, I know not a lot happens in each chapter, but I promise you all I'll give you the most satisfying ending I can!!
> 
> Thanks again for reading, and I'll see you all soon!!
> 
> P.S. I know i keep saying not to get used to double uploads, but I might even pull a triple upload today. No promises!!!!


	8. Here's some fluff to ease the slowburn

**Simon**

Baz agreed to the truce. I didn’t really think things through this far…

I probably should have.

I don’t know if Baz and I would be considered friends now, he said we aren’t but we’ve been spending the last day of holiday together.

I probably shouldn’t phrase it that way, we just ate dinner together and both studied while we were in our room. It really wasn’t anything. We barely even spoke. But for once, when we did speak to each other it wasn’t to argue or exchange insults.

It’s nice. I don’t have to worry that he’ll stay out in the catacombs all night just to avoid me. I don’t have to wonder whether or not he’ll be in the bed across from me when I open my eyes.

It’s not exactly everything I wanted, but it’s _something_ , and I would take whatever he’d give me. Even if it’s just a promise not to antagonize me for two weeks.

**Baz**

I’m not sure I’ll be able to recover from this truce. Simon may have promised not to fight me, but this will definitely kill me. I would never admit it, but even though it hurts to let myself reach for the thing I want but can never have, this is nice.

He’s being _pleasant_ , even.

“Baz, would you mind if I opened the window a bit?”

I looked up from my Elocutions book. He’s _asking me_ if I would _mind_. Cauldron have mercy.

“Actually yes, Snow. I would mind. Not all of us are living bonfires.”

He paused for a moment, before walking to his bed and grabbing his comforter. Next thing I know I’m assaulted by a heap of limbs and blanket.

“AAAH! Snow, what the hell?”

I duck for cover as he whacks me over the head with a pillow.

“Surrender now, Pitch!”

I try to grab the pillow next to me, but he’s straddled my waist and it’s not easy to tell where it is when he’s striking me with his down-filled weapon.

“The fight is mine, Tyrannus! Admit defeat!”

“AAAAH! Never, Snow!” I reach up and grab his pillow mid-whack, using my vampire strength to flip us over so I’m now propped up on my hands and knees, a flushed Simon Snow underneath me.

Alarm bells go off in my head. This is a dangerous situation.

But I ignore them, because now Simon Snow is looking at my lips, blushing so hard he looks like he might spontaneously combust.

He looks like he might kiss me.

I must have hit my head or something.

No, this is real.

Then the fact that _this is real_ startles me so much that I hastily detangle myself from the comforters and Snow, rushing to the bathroom, where I lock the door and sink down onto the cold tile floor.

Snow knocks on the door and when I don’t say anything, he tries the handle.

“Baz? Um, are you alright in there? I’m sorry if I crossed the line, I wanted to give you my comforter as compromise.”

**Simon**

He opens the door but his eyes are empty. He looks like he might have cried, his eyes are red.

“Compromise?”, his voice is hoarse.

“Yeah. I- um- well-”

“Use your words, Snow.” He just sounds tired.

“I’m going to open the window because it’s unbearably hot in here, but I want to give you my extra comforter so you aren’t too cold.”

He looks 110% done with this conversation.

“I'm a vampire, Snow. I will always be cold.”

I shrugged.

“I just thought it might help. I’m not going to use it, so it’s yours.”

**Baz**

_Nothing_. I just admitted I was a vampire and he said _nothing_.

He has been obsessively trying to prove it for forever, and I just _admitted to it_ and he said bloody _nothing_.

I sigh and push past him. I sort out the mess of comforters and pillows on my bed, tossing his pillow back onto his bed, but I keep the extra comforter.

I may be a fool, but I’d rather be warm and foolish than cold and twice as foolish.

He seems to perk up when I don’t reject the comforter.

He climbs into his bed and I relax a bit.

He was right, the comforter did keep me from being too cold.

**Simon**

“Goodnight, Baz.” I yawn and roll over.

And softly, when he thinks I can’t hear him, he murmurs, “Goodnight, Simon.”

**Baz**

I fall asleep wrapped in Simon’s comforter.

It smells like him.

Merlin, help me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know i promised some plot progression, and upon reviewing this chapter I think I broke that promise. I'm sorry! I promise it won't be too many more chapters though, I just wanted to lighten it up with some short fluff :)
> 
> But by the looks of it, Baz is starting to catch on a bit ;)
> 
> Thank you all so so much for your sweet comments i really can't express how much I love getting them!! I hope you enjoyed reading and I'll see you all soon ;))) <3 <3


	9. Yep, still gay

**Simon**

I’m trying not to watch Baz sleep, but it’s hard. He looks so cute like this. His hair is messy and he’s drooling a bit. The bulk of having two comforters piled on top of him is cartoonishly comical.

It’s sort of funny to watch him when he sleeps. He doesn’t look as posh and stiff as he is when he’s awake. He’s still perfect, of course he is, he’s _Baz_. Only he could make drooling in your sleep look glamorous and intentional.

I only realize how long I’ve been staring when I realize he’s staring right back at me.

He sits up and fixes his hair with his fingers before wiping the drool off his lips with his sleeve.

“What do you think you’re doing, Snow?”

“I- sorry, it’s just-”

“What?”

“Nothing. Forget it.”

At least when he’s asleep I can pretend we’re more than just on a truce.

He goes into the bathroom to get ready and I get dressed. When I walk past the bathroom, he has the door open.

He’s slicking back his hair like a mafia boss’s son, just like he always does. I stop and watch him, not even trying to hide it.

“Yes, Snow?” Baz asks without ever taking his eyes off his own reflection. I can’t blame him.

“You shouldn’t slick your hair back so often. It suits you better when it’s loose.” I smile at him.

His fingers tighten around his comb until he’s broken several of the small teeth in the middle.

I don’t know exactly what that means, but I think it’s a good sign. I walk out of Mummer’s house and join Penny at breakfast.

**Baz**

Simon just complimented me.

As soon as he closed the door to our room, I dropped my broken comb into the waste bin and shove my hair gel to the back of the bathroom cabinet.

I might need to re-evaluate the odds.

**Simon**

Penny is starting to get suspicious. I haven’t complained to her about Baz since before Christmas holiday.

“Simon…” She starts. “Is everything… alright?”

I pause and shovel a hunk of scone into my mouth.

“Yes.”

She doesn’t buy that for a minute.

“How’s Baz doing?”

I almost choke on my scone.

“He’s… fine.”

I hear a snicker on my left followed by a “Don’t let on that you think so, his ego might swallow him whole.”

Dev.

Fuck.

And Niall.

Double fuck.

“Good morning Snow. Penny.” Niall nods as him and Dev sit in two out of three of the remaining chairs.

“That wasn’t what I-”, I try to explain but Niall cuts me off with one hand like he’s conducting a symphony or something.

“Don’t worry, Snow. We won’t tell him.”

Dev pipes up, “Not that he’d ever believe us if we did! Ow! Niall what the-”

Niall glares at Dev, and I assume he must have kicked him under the table. Niall and Penny share a look I can’t read. I don’t think I like where this is going.

**Baz**

I practically float into the dining hall, my head still spinning from Snow’s comment about my hair, to find the table where Dev, Niall, and I sit empty. Strange. They should be here already.

I scan the dining hall and I immediately curse myself under my breath.

Dev and Niall are sitting and talking with Penelope Bunce and Simon bloody Snow, the four of them eating and laughing like it’s the most natural thing in the world.

I almost turn to leave but Niall sees me and shouts, “Baz! Over here!”

I grimace but Niall’s making his “there’s no way you’re getting out of this” face so I take the only seat left at the table, which happens to be in between Niall and Simon bloody Snow.

Merlin and Morgana, what have I signed up for?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oooohh was I supposed to give you some plot progression?? My bad...
> 
> The plot progression in this fic is so slow it's almost a joke, I'm so sorry!
> 
> I'll be updating *again* later today soooo
> 
> Thanks for reading!! I hope you're enjoying it and I'll see you all soon!!! ;) <3<3


	10. Jeans.

**Baz**

As the week goes by, I fall into a strange new routine. I eat with Dev, Niall, Simon, and Penelope now. It’s actually quite pleasant. I’ve started becoming rather good friends with Penny. I’m even friends with Simon. If you had told me a month ago that Simon and I would be friends I would have laughed in your face.

Snow was right, it’s better this way. Even if I’ll never be able to have him in the way I want, I’m happier to be something to him, even if I’m just a friend.

We still argue, but it’s more like bickering or banter than actual fighting. Dev once told us we fight like a married couple, which for some reason made Snow smile at me.

I don’t want to get my hopes up. I don’t let myself think about the way he’s been looking at me lately. It’s not worth analyzing if there’s a chance I could be wrong.

Tonight is the last rehearsal before Scenes Night tomorrow. I’m a nervous wreck. Not because of the performance, but because of the kiss.

I’ve never kissed anyone before. I’m not really worried because it’s a stage kiss, but what if it’s bad? What if it makes things awkward between us?

I try to calm my nerves by draining rats, which, surprise, does absolutely nothing.

I try to just act comfortable. I try to walk as confidently and gracefully as I can as I go up the stairs of Mummer’s house. Of course, that makes me think about how I’m walking, which makes me forget how I normally walk. I end up vaguely sauntering into our room, which causes Snow to give me a funny look.

So much for confident grace.

There are certain things that make me wish I hadn’t befriended Snow. It’s harder to get him to leave me alone now. My usual habit of annoying him until he says “Fuck off, Baz” isn’t an option anymore. So now I’ve settled for saying “I’m done” when I need to be alone.

It doesn’t really work as well, but he doesn’t leave angry, which, call me soft, but I think that’s worth it.

I’ve realized I’ve never thought about whether him and I would even get along as friends, but we do. I’m still wary of him, though. I panicked a bit the other day when I realized I left a rainbow pin that Fiona gave me on the dresser. He asked me if it was mine and I told him that yes, it was. He smiled brightly when he heard that but thankfully didn’t bring it up again.

I don’t regret befriending him, though. It doesn’t make things easier, but it’s better this way.

I’m starting to understand why Snow confides in Penny so much. She’s an excellent friend, however, her ability to tell when people are lying is somewhat frightening, not to mention that she studies obscure spells almost obsessively. I’m sure she knows some spells I’ve never heard of, and I’m the best mage in all of Watford.

Dev and Niall seem to get along quite well with Penny and Snow. Of course, they’re too wrapped up in each other to really notice much else, but it’s still a nice sentiment.

Snow is a bit quiet lately. I even asked him why he was moping, but he avoided the question. He’s probably pining over Wellbelove.

We take turns getting ready for bed and when we shut off the lights, I’m disappointed to find that the extra comforter doesn’t smell like him anymore. I shut my eyes and try to sleep.

“Hey, Baz?”

I roll over to face him.

“Yes, Snow?”

“Are you nervous for tomorrow?”

“Not really. Stage fright is natural at first, though. You’ll get used to it as you act more.”

“Oh…” He pauses, “I don’t think I’m going to keep acting after this.”

I sit up in bed.

“Why not?”

“Well, I’m not very good…”

I laugh.

He doesn’t.

“Snow, you can’t be serious.”

“I am, Baz, I’m shit at acting.”

“No, you aren’t.” I state matter-of-factly. That’s the closest I’ve ever come to complementing Simon.

“But… how do you know that?”

Crowley, he’s blind.

“You’re very convincing. You sing your lines as if they were real, Snow. That’s all acting is, really.”

He sits up and smiles at me softly.

“Thanks, Baz. You’re a great actor too.”

Simon isn’t looking at me anymore. He keeps talking.

“Would you…”

“Yes, Snow?”

“There’s this game Niall taught me to play when I’m feeling anxious.”

“…I know which one.”

The Question Game.

It’s a game Niall and I invented for when he was having panic attacks. We would take turns asking each other questions, and both players have to tell the truth. Technically, there’s nothing enforcing that rule, but it’s a game based on trust, so it seems like a bad idea to break it.

I hate the bloody Question Game.

“Would you play it with me? Just until we fall asleep?”

I want to say no. I want to say no so badly.

“Okay.”

Remind me to never insult Simon for his intelligence again.

“You can go first.”

That’s worse. I don’t want to go first.

“Are you going to get back together with Agatha?”

“No.” He shakes his head like he’s never heard a dumber question.

“My turn now.” He softens his voice, “Are you gay?”

“Yes.”

“Cool.” He whispers and smiles brighter than the sun itself.

“My turn. What do you mean ‘cool’?”

He giggles. “Because-” he cuts himself off and starts laughing.

I don’t move. I should have known this stupid game was a bad idea.

He takes a deep breath and grins, “Because I think I’m bi.”

Because he thinks he’s bi.

Simon Snow just asked me if I was gay, and said it was cool that I was because he thinks he’s bi.

He smiles before sliding back under his covers, “Thanks for going along with that, Baz. I know you don’t like to talk about personal things, but I feel a lot better now so thank you.”

“Goodnight, Snow.” I roll over so I’m facing the wall.

He turns out the lights.

“Goodnight, Baz.”

I’m going to recalculate the odds.

Again.

**Simon**

I wake up to the sound of something falling. My hand flies to my hip, ready to summon the Sword of Mages.

Oh. It’s just Baz.

Wait, what is he doing up? It’s still dark outside. It can’t be later than six-thirty.

I focus my eyes to see he’s holding a shoebox full of something.

“What is that?” I mumble groggily.

“What is what?” He is far too wide awake.

“The box.”

He looks down at it and then back at me quizzically, “You mean the jazz shoes, Snow?”

I sink my head into my hands and groan.

Fuck. I forgot we need jazz shoes for Scene Night. I don’t own jazz shoes.

I pick myself up to find Baz standing at the end of my bed, smirking.

“Do you have jazz shoes, Snow?”

I sigh, “No, Baz. I don’t have bloody jazz shoes.”

He produces a second box from behind his back. It’s gift wrapped.

“Happy belated Christmas, Snow.”

“What? Baz, I don’t understand…”

He crosses his arms in front of his chest.

“Did you really think I was about to let you ruin my performance because you forgot to buy jazz shoes?”

I rip open the wrapping and open the box to find two black jazz shoes. In my size.

“Baz… I don’t know what to say…”

He smirks again.

“Then don’t say anything.”

“How did you…”

“Predict that you would be ill-prepared? It’s not hard to guess”, he quipped. Smug bastard.

“No, Baz.” I roll my eyes playfully.

I slide to the end of the bed and bring my face dangerously close to his. I’m going to test something.

“How did you…”

He must have fed recently because he’s blushing hard. I think my hunch might be right.

“…know my shoe size? Bloody stalker.”

He laughs. He really laughs. Not just a soft laugh to please me, but a genuine laugh.

He has a beautiful laugh. (Of course he does. He’s Basilton Grimm-Fucking-Pitch.)

When he stops laughing, he smiles at me, it’s not a flashy grin or a proud beam, it’s small and shy, but it’s _real_.

“Come on, Snow. Scones should be ready just about now.”

He doesn’t have to tell me twice.

I get out of bed and go to get dressed before stopping in my tracks.

Baz is wearing jeans.

I’ve never seen Baz in jeans.

They look amazing.

Crowley, those must be tight.

I must make a noise because Baz turns around and I flush red and look away.

“What’s the matter Snow?”

**Baz**

Simon Snow was just checking me out.

Thank the cauldron. I didn’t wear jeans that are a size too small for him not to notice them.

It may not be so hopeless after all.

**Simon**

I sputter as he smirks at me. I have to say _something_.

“Jeans.” Is what I end up saying.

He smirks and lowers his face closer to mine, raising that infamous eyebrow of his.

“Articulate.” He whispers while looking at me through his lashes.

It’s taking every ounce of self-control I have not to shove him up against the wall and kiss him senseless. I clear my throat as he steps back.

Is it getting hot in here? Or is it just Baz in those jeans?

The answers are yes, and yes.

I do my best to ignore it. I clear my throat again, “You, uh”, I clear my throat for a third time, it must be stuffy in here, “You look good. In those. The jeans. They look good.”

Why am I so bad with words?

Baz blushes faintly, “So do you.”

He then blushes not-so-faintly and promptly walks out the door.

I look in the mirror at my messy hair and rumpled pajamas. I look like a mess.

Baz said I looked good.

What is happening?

I decide to ignore it. I need to focus on Scenes Night for now.

I throw on my trousers and my Watford jumper before practically run down to breakfast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops sorry this is getting so long, but I refuse to skip ahead and miss important plot points.
> 
> I might upload another chapter later but I'm not sure, I probably won't because i have a lot of work to do.
> 
> Thank you guys so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed it!!
> 
> See you next time!!


	11. Would it be a Snowbaz fic without Baz denying calling Simon by his first name? No it would not.

**Baz**

As the cast and crew get ready for curtain call, I feel my nervousness subside. This is the kind of chaotic pressure I thrive under.

Snow doesn’t have the same reaction. He grips the box from his new jazz shoes so tightly that his fingers leave dents in the cardboard.

I made Fiona send me those shoes the day after we agreed to a truce. She doesn’t know who they’re for, but she doesn’t ask, so I think it’s fair game.

I didn’t know whether or not I would go through with giving them to him to be honest, but money was never a concern, so I bought them anyway. He’s hardly stopped smiling at me since I gave them to him. If I’d known it would be that easy to get him to look at me that way, I’d have bought him jazz shoes years ago.

Merlin, help me. I’m hopelessly in love with Simon Snow.

Time seemed to be slowing down as I looked around, savoring these moments. It was all so bittersweet. My last Scenes Night. One of the first “lasts” that would come with graduating Watford.

It’s sad, but I know, deep down, that this isn’t the end. Watford may not always be where I live, but it will always be home.

My first home, but not my last.

For a moment it almost feels like everything around me stops, as I stand in the middle of the dressing room, watching my friends laugh and nervously get ready for curtain call.

It’s nights like these that make Watford truly magical.

**Simon**

I’m nervous. I look around the room at my friends and take a deep breath.

It’s okay. This is supposed to be fun!

Niall notices my anxiety and puts a hand on my shoulder.

“Breathe, Snow. It’s all going to be okay.”

I smile weakly, “Thanks, Niall.”

He smiles back at me, “It’s normal to be nervous, but you don’t have to worry. You’re going to do great, and everyone here has your back. Just breathe and enjoy the moment, it’ll be over far too soon.” He claps me on the back and heads over to talk to Dev.

He’s right. It will be over too soon. I look around at the bustling cast and crew. Baz and I make eye contact, and it’s like time slows around me. I get it now, why Baz loves Scenes Night so much. I should add it to my list of reasons why I love Watford.

I mentally add two new reasons.

Both of them are in this room.

I should have signed up for Scenes Night years ago.

**Baz**

Miss Possibelf calls curtain and reminds us that talent scouts will be in the audience. They always are. I’ve been approached by them after nearly each performance, but I always turn them down. If I had my way I wouldn’t. If I had my way, I would go to university to study acting and literature. But if I told my father I was going to become an actor he would likely have an aneurism.

He tries. I know he tries. He doesn’t always understand, and I doubt he ever will, but he tries to support me in his own way. He thinks he knows what’s best for me, and I know my father has good intentions, but it doesn’t change the fact that I’m not in control of my own life.

I don’t know whether or not he’s coming tonight. His answer last time was something vague and unconvincing that I can’t exactly remember. I don’t expect him to show up, I’m not even sure I want him to.

Fiona, on the other hand, cannot be deterred. No matter how much I discourage her attendance she refuses to let me perform unless she’s in the audience. It’s somewhat endearing, really, but it doesn’t change the fact that she’s about to see me kiss Simon Snow.

Something tells me she won’t be pleased.

Nevertheless, I won’t let my family taint my last Scenes Night.

I’ve recalculated my odds with Simon. I’ve concluded that while unlikely, the chance of him reciprocating my feelings- to some extent- is not hopeless.

The show is now about a quarter of the way through, and Simon seems to have calmed down. Watching the others perform from the wings is one of the best parts of scenes night. I personally think it’s the best seat in the house.

I feel something brush my hand and I turn to find Simon standing a bit closer to me than is technically necessary (not that I’m complaining).

“Baz?”

“Yes, Snow?”

“I, um”, he fidgets with the hem of his costume- which, like mine, is an absurdly baroque rococo style suit. We look ridiculous. “I wanted to thank you.”

I raise an eyebrow out of habit, “For?”

“The shoes.”

“Ah, well, you’re welcome.”

“And…” he adds softly, “For being my friend.”

I look away, I just can’t look at him right now, it might break me. But I whisper with equal softness, “Anytime, Simon.”

His head shoots up and he grabs onto me excitedly.

“You called me Simon.”

He’s _beaming_. It’s so bright I might go blind.

“No. I didn’t.” I shake him off.

“Yes, you did!”

I turn away from him so he doesn’t see me smiling.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Snow.”

And then, before I know it, it’s our scene.

Snow really is a wonderful actor. The way he’s looking at me almost has _me_ fooled.

I’m in a trancelike state. I block out everything and everyone but Simon. And I really feel the scene as I go through the motions. I almost forget how it ends.

But as we meet in the middle I remember. And I let myself savor this moment. Walking towards Simon, eyes on each other. He really is a phenomenal actor.

And we meet in the middle, him winding his arms around my neck, as I spin him around and dip him like a tango.

But this time, instead of the spotlight going dark and us carefully extracting ourselves from this precarious position, the spotlight stays on, and before I can process it, his lips are on mine.

And as my world comes crashing down around me, Simon Snow kisses me.

**Simon**

I kissed Baz. I know that it was planned and only for show but holy shit, _I kissed Baz_.

I never want to kiss anyone else.

But as we pull apart and move to the front of the stage for bows, he won’t look at me. I know he can see me in his peripheral vision, but he’s stopped acknowledging my presence.

My heart drops into my stomach so fast it feels like I was punched.

None of this was real. I _knew_ that. Everyone knew that. But the growing pain in my chest aches as if it were.

We take our bows and Baz has on his stunning stage smile, but his eyes are blank and unfeeling. He pulls his hand away from mine and as soon as the curtain closes, he walks off stage.

And it’s like nothing ever happened.

It’s like I’m back where I was three weeks ago, watching Baz scribble his name on the cast sign-up sheet.

And my world collapses because of Baz for the second time that night.

I don’t remember much else from that night other than Penny having to drag me up the stairs to the room at the top of Mummer’s tower, before I curled into myself and let my conscious mind slip away from me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry. This was evil. 
> 
> I wish I could give you one satisfactory chapter, but that will have to wait until next time ;)
> 
> (My friend who reads these before I publish them is very upset at me for doing this.)
> 
> I love you all, I'm sorry I'm torturing you! I promise it won't last forever!
> 
> I want to start another fic, but I don't know if people would enjoy it so I guess stay tuned for that as well.
> 
> Thank you all so much for reading and I'll see you next time!! <3 <3
> 
> (I swear it has a good ending just hang in there)


	12. Not even close

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! You've reached the last chapter of this fic! 
> 
> I'd just like to say thank you all for reading! I really hope you enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed writing it! 
> 
> If you'd like to see more of my writing I have another fic in the works and hopefully that will be out soon!

**Baz**

I didn’t go back to our room that night. Or any night since, for that matter. I spend all my time outside of class in Dev and Niall’s room, in the Catacombs, or on the football pitch.

It’s only been six days since Scene Night, but it might as well have been six weeks.

I thought I could handle it. I thought I could take what he would give me and bury my undying feelings for him, but that kiss messed with my head.

Snow doesn’t chase me. He doesn’t trail me after class like he used to. He just watches from a distance and looks sad. 

I know I’m the reason he’s stopped smiling, but being friends with Snow after that kiss would break me.

It’s selfish, and unfair to him, but it’s better for everyone if he doesn’t know the truth.

**Niall**

I’ve had enough of Baz Pitch’s goddamn emo bullshit. I’m desperate for him to get out of Dev and I’s room. I have an idea. It’s an awful idea, truly, but it’s the only idea I have.

So, when Baz asks to stay over for the seventh night in a row, I excuse myself, grab Dev by the collar and practically drag him out into the hallway.

This was not how I wanted to tell him, but goddamn it I’m sick of waiting. I’m sick of waiting for him to make the first move. I’m sick of waiting for Baz to leave on his own accord. I’m done waiting.

Dev doesn’t care what my reasons for doing it right now were. And when we walk back into the room with our fingers laced together, Baz doesn’t ask to stay the night again.

Instead he gets up and walks out the door, but not before patting me on the back and tousling Dev’s hair.

I’d normally be worried that he’d be upset for kicking him out, but when Dev kisses me I forget to care.

**Simon**

Baz has been avoiding me like the plague for six days, 2 hours, and 32 minutes when he suddenly saunters into our room.

“Baz!” I practically shout with surprise, almost falling off my bed.

“Snow.”

His cold tone stings like a slap in the face. He must really hate me after all.

**Baz**

I stalk over to my bed so I can go to sleep and try to forget Simon Snow.

I’d normally be pretty upset at Niall for forcing me to interact with Snow, but seeing him and Dev finally together seemed to melt my anger. It took them bloody long enough.

I stop in my tracks when I notice the envelope resting on my pillow.

I pick it up and open it.

It’s an offer from an acting agency.

But when I go to read it, I’m surprised to find the words “Dear Simon Snow” at the top.

I turn towards him and hold out the letter.

“This is for you. Congratulations, Snow. Next time don’t leave your mail on my bed.”

Deep down, I’m happy for him. He deserves it, he’s a truly wonderful actor.

“What?” He looks scared and surprised.

“It’s addressed to ‘Simon Snow’. Last time I checked, that was you.”

“I don’t understand… It’s from an acting agency. It must be a mistake, they probably got us mixed up.” He’s not looking at me. I don’t know which hurts more, letting myself burn, or pulling myself away.

I scoff. “Of course it’s for you. Take it.”

“Why would it be for me?”

I want to punch him. And kiss him. Mostly kiss him, but he’s getting on my nerves a bit.

“Because you’re a good actor, Snow.” He finally looks at me and I can see his pain through his eyes. I didn’t think me pulling away would hurt him this much.

“No, Baz. I’m shit at acting.” He stands up as if he were going to leave. I don’t know where he thinks he’s going, but he won’t be going anywhere right now.

I shove myself between him and the door, the door knob digging into my side, determined to fix this, even if it kills me.

“Then what, in Merlin’s name, was whatever you were doing for Scenes Night, Snow?!”

He frowns and searches my face. I want to help him find whatever it is he’s looking for. I want to be whatever it is I can be for him. I just don’t know how.

**Simon**

I can’t do this anymore. I can’t even look at him without feeling like my heart is breaking.

I make for the door. I don’t know where I’ll go. I don’t have places to hide out like he does. I could sneak into the Mage’s office and sleep on the floor there, but if he shows up, I’ll have to explain to him why I’m there, and I don't particularly want to do that.

Baz shoves himself against the door to stop me from opening it.

His face inches away from mine.

“Tell me, Snow. I was there. I saw you acting. You were phenomenal. It was so believable. Why do you insist you’re a terrible actor?”

**Baz**

Our faces are almost touching. I want to reach out to him, to hold him and tell him I’m sorry for being such an awful friend. But I can’t do it.

“I wasn’t acting, Baz.”

My world stops.

And as he brings his face so close to mine that they’re nearly touching he whispers to me in a heartbreakingly soft tone.

“I love you.”

And then he kisses me.

**Simon**

I’m kissing Baz. For real this time.

As I start to pull away, he grabs me close to him and kisses me like the sky is falling. We stay like that until I feel something wet drip onto my face.

I pull away and Baz is crying.

Fuck.

Shit.

I fucked up.

I start to step backwards but he pulls me against him and whispers into my mouth.

“I love you too, Simon Snow.”

And in the morning, for the first time, seeing Baz’s bed empty across from mine makes me smile.

**Baz**

I do a lot of unnecessary things for dramatic effect.

So, you can imagine my disappointment when walking into the dining hall hand in hand with Simon Snow, my self-proclaimed “terrible” boyfriend, didn’t elicit some kind of huge reaction.

The most we got was a nod and a smile from Penny. Dev groaned and slid a smirking Niall fifty pounds.

No one else seemed to have any kind of reaction. I suppose a lot of people saw it coming. In retrospect, I should have seen it coming too.

Simon grabs my hand under the table and I almost pass out from shock. I’m not exactly used to this yet.

Simon hasn’t stopped smiling since last night. Neither have I.

I’m somewhat sad I’ll never get to say that I’m “hopelessly in love with him” again.

Because it isn’t hopeless.

And as Simon squeezes my hand and rests his head on my shoulder, I thank whatever gods or deities out there that I was wrong.

Not hopeless at all.

Not even close.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope the ending was worth the wait! Sorry this turned out so long! It wasn't even meant to be a slowburn at first I just write a lot 😅 
> 
> Thank you all so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> P.S. I'm starting a new fic today and I'm planning on posting it soon- incase any of you want to read more of my work

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!! I'll try to update this regularly. First few chapters are all written they just need to be edited and I gotta get a second opinion on them before uploading. I hope you enjoyed this!!


End file.
